i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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