Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
