Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize