Kiss
Puke
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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