All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
