mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
we should paint friendship bongs
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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