That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
