Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
