broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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