A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
