Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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