Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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