You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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