break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
