we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
