Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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