3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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