you guys were way drunker than both of me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
