It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
