C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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