Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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