Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
