They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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