shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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