Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
