you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
