i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
