You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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