The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
