it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
