I need to stop coming to work sober
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
