dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
