I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
