i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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