# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
