She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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