Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
its not stalking. its research.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
