A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
