I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
