cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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