"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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