Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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