my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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