i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just googled if crying burns calories
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
