If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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