okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
