doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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