i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
