My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
