yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
