i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
