Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
