hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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