i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
