Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
