I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I cut my penus on the lid.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
