no, he came in my armpit
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize