we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
