Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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