So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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