Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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