Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize