i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
