Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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