the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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